7/5/2022 0 Comments 5 More Rules For Solo SuccessFollowing the overwhelming response to my previous post, How to Cope on Your Own: 10 Rules For Solo Success, upon reflection I identified another 5 rules that drive oneself to becoming comfortably lonesome. In addition to the 10 rules mentioned previously, the 5 found below, once put into practice, learned and mastered, are crucial on the road to self discovery, self love, and with a little bit of magic, happiness. As identified in the precursor to this colloquy, happiness is the driving factor in travelling the world successfully solo, while actually enjoying it. Becoming happy overnight is an impossible ask, but with these tools in your hypothetical toolbox, you'll be well on your way to achieving it. Thank you for taking the time to read this, it means a lot to me that so many of you have found my posts to be useful. Drop me a hello in the comments box, I'd love to hear from you! Enough of the soppy shit now, you're here for rules and rules you shall have! 1. Accept and enjoy the fact that you are odd.Straight in there with the hard-hitting psychological analysis I know. Stay with me now. pEvery single one of us is odd in our own right. I don't care who you are, where you're from, what you eat or how you eat it, you're odd. Now of course I say this with love, unique and interesting reader, but alas it is true! Take me, for example. I'm a weird dude. I think that wearing one bright blue sock with strawberries on it and one bright yellow sock with grapes on it looks cool. I have a tattoo above my knee that says "ok sexy!" and different sized nipple piercings (before you ask, yes, they hurt like fuck). One second I'm blaring out drum and bass, bopping my head in the middle of a Sainsbury's car park and the next I'm listening to power ballads and sobbing into a warm Budweiser (and every now and then, a packet of salt & vinegar crisps). I am very very particular about exactly how I like my White Russians (Google it, they're amazing) and will ask a bartender to fix it 4 times before I can properly enjoy it. One time I actually convinced myself I was going to die after taking a drowsy antihistamine tablet. I'm a weird guy, I know. We're all odd in our own fun and interesting ways, and the key to thriving here is accepting that. You can look at all of the things I mentioned in disdain and really beat yourself up about it. We can be harsh and really quite horrible about ourselves at times especially in regard to the little things. What's important to note is that these quirks, these peculiarities, are what make you you. What's fun about being all straight edge and 'normal' when you can tell yourself jokes, be weird, do dumb shit and laugh about it all. As a side note, 'normal' is simply a common form of a certain type of odd. You're telling me the cool crowd running elitist house parties, drinking WKDs and being mean to each other isn't odd as hell? I rest my case. Don't take yourself too seriously. Do things for you. Make yourself laugh before you try to make others laugh. Work to be comfortable in your own skin and learn to actually enjoy it. A very good friend of mine posts the oddest Snapchat stories, and I love them. She does them for herself, to make herself laugh and in turn that comes across. Others enjoy going on those odd little journeys with her and the joy she takes in just generally being weird is infectious. Shout out to Abby, your stories always make my day ❤️ Be kind to yourself. We're all odd. Embrace it, thrive in it and find comfort in your odd little ways. Especially when travelling on your own, where mostly you are your only company. There's a trend online at the moment that I really appreciate. Essentially the idea is recognising that you're being mean to yourself, and then realising you're talking about a younger version of you. Allow me to demonstrate here. I'm not really one for internet trends but I like this one in particular, it really messes with your ability to treat yourself badly. Give it a shot! Yes, I said we're all weird, even you. Tell me some of your quirks in the comments below and I'll enter you into my giveaway to win a herd of Australian Mongeese (postage & packaging not included). 2. Do not, I repeat, do not, allow yourself to get bored.Now especially for me, this may be the single most important rule of the bunch. I think boredom is overlooked as quite a severe negative emotion that can really affect things such as motivation, passion and even self worth. Boredom can come in many forms. Maybe you're bored of your relationship and just want to get out and explore. Maybe you're bored of your job, you've been doing the same thing for the past 5 years and it's not fulfilling you in the way it used to. Maybe you're bored of the city you're in, you've been to every bar 100 times and the faces never change. This is something I particularly struggle with in anything that I do. I have a very low attention span and can get pretty bored pretty quickly, with almost anything. It seems, the only thing I don't get bored of is people. Even if you're a boring person, I'm fascinated as to exactly what's boring about you and why that is. But don't worry, warm and exciting reader, you are not boring. If you are, then stop it. It's not fun for you, let alone other people. Anyway, I have experienced all three of the examples above and when I'm bored I really struggle with maintaining a healthy way of living. It's easy to get bored and stay bored and that means a continued lack of growth, change and fulfilment. You might be thinking: "Wise and knowledgeable Lonesome Wanderer, what oh what is the answer!?" Well you guessed it, travel. Bored in your relationship? Travel out of it and into the single life. Bored of your job? Travel into something that gives you meaning and purpose. Bored of your city? Travel the whole damn world. Travel does not necessarily mean to jump on a plane to Bali for 6 weeks to wash an elephants ass (though, it's on my bucket list for sure). It just means to travel beyond where it is you currently reside. Travel outside of your comfort zone. Travel deep within in search of purpose. You get one life on planet earth, you might as well live it. Whatever it is, keep moving and keep evolving. Life is a journey, and you're at the wheel. Take as many turns as possible and regardless, you'll still reach your destination, albeit with some great stories to tell those that you meet when you get there. 3. Always stick to your first plan (mostly). Ok so you know how I said the last rule was the most important? I lied. It was wrong and it won't happen again, promise. This concept is incredibly important, especially when in the realm of self worth and lonesome wandering. Let me explain what I mean. Have you ever been invited to something that you're initially super excited about, only to regret agreeing to it when the day-of rolls around? Of course you have. We all do it. We all rearrange, we all have bad days and don't want to go to things or see other people. It may even be a classic case of the nerves. Say, you're backpacking alone in Prague and you buy a ticket to the biggest boat party going. Maybe you don't sleep much the night before. Maybe you're feeling a little self conscious and not so confident that day. There is one very important thing to remember here: At some point, some part of you believed that you could do it. Trust that version of you. Always, where possible, stick to your first plan. This will have a number of compound effects that will do nothing but boost your confidence. Flitting between 'decisions' is not a healthy practice in the slightest, and you can really damage your psyche if you believe yourself to be unable to make a decision or a plan and stick to it. Of course, if your first plan is to buy a kilo of cocaine and lock yourself in the basement with a ten pound note and every episode of the X Files, maybe you should reconsider going to your cousin's baby shower. Or don't, The X Files is dope. Regardless, go to that friends birthday dinner, go to that epic party on your own, buy that luminous pink jacket and live to regret it if you have to. At least you can say that you tried and really, that's all that matters. 4. The art of being lonesome does not mean that you shouldn't include others in your adventures.I want to clear up a potential misconception before we have us a group of wildly antisocial nomads who are dead set on being on their own and will bark at someone should they start a conversation. As this rule suggests, being lonesome on the road does not necessarily mean or require that you do everything completely alone, in fact, it's quite the opposite. In fact, when travelling on my own of even simply getting up to stuff alone, I'm always on the hunt for new friends. It's people that enrich our stories, give colour to our experiences and turn an average Sunday morning into an endless barrage of laughter and joy. You should always thrive to meet as many different people from as many different backgrounds as possible when travelling. These are the catalysts to an unforgettable trip, and make up the majority of your excitement when talking about your trip with friends or family. I was totally wasted in this bar in Moscow with my girlfriend at the time and in flies the stereotypical Russian maniac with a huge beard, shovels for hands and the name of Sergei. Sergei was a lovable pulling machine and I spent most of the evening watching this lunatic run around the bar and get practically every girls number in the place. As he left, he shouted to us something about how we must visit him in this bar around the corner sometime. Lo and behold, on one of our last nights in Moscow we went to see him, and ended up drinking 50% off cocktails all night, much at my hungover morning self's dismay. Moscow was great. However, my story about Sergei makes it better. It's my story about Sergei that makes it exciting, and makes others excited to listen. Some things, of course, are excellent to engage in alone. Think meditation, climbing to idyllic viewpoints and a sunset cruise along the River Danube. However, the true art here is to enter a situation alone and leave it in company. Yearn to discover new friends, as people are an experience in and of themselves. It's those that we meet on the road that add colour to story. Think of the journey itself as the dots on a sketchbook, and those you meet along the way as the lines that join them to paint a beautiful piece of art. 5. Be generous, it feels good. At first glance you may consider this rule to be a selfish one. Wise and omniscient reader, oh how that isn't the case! Generosity is a two way street and a golden one at that, lined with shops selling love and gratitude and kindness and humanity. Generosity can come in many forms, be it buying someone you just met at a Hawaiian beach bar a cocktail, flicking some coins into a homeless persons basket or stopping to learn about a street artists work. Generosity is not simply giving money. Oftentimes, the most generous commodity you can offer someone is your time. Now we all love money, most of all me. If every person I met gave me a hundred quid I'd be well chuffed as, I'm sure, would you. However, drawing back and taking a wider look at things, the value of someone taking the time to listen to me, to laugh and joke with me, to cry and sing and love and dance with me is absolutely incomparable. Now steady on ol' Lonesome, I don't want to get ahead of myself and start preaching how money doesn't make you happy. As far as I'm concerned it's brilliant and the more I can get the better. The point I'm trying to make is that it doesn't take a lot to be generous. You don't need to be rich, you don't even need a lot of time. However, whatever you can give, give. In the spring of 2022, I went to Krakow, Poland and, amongst other things, I volunteered with the Ukrainian refugees situated in the train station there. Now, I would have liked to have done more (not speaking Russian or Ukrainian meant I was pretty useless), but I was assigned to making sandwiches and handing out water to families in the queues. It was an incredible (even if short) experience that I will be writing about in future. I was staying in a (somewhat) party hostel at the time and on the desk at reception sat a jar, full to the brim with lollipops. Now these were free for us guests to take, however on asking if I could take a load to the train station for the kids, the receptionist protested (bless her she was only young and unsure of the untapped potential of said confectionary). Regardless, when she wasn't looking, I emptied the entire jar into the pockets of my cargo pants and strolled out triumphant and jubilant. Upon reaching the station and engaging in the process of handing out food and water to those poor refugees, I hatched a plan. Every child I came across, I would whip out a lollipop from my pocket and offer it to them. You cannot imagine the way in which those children's faces just lit up, causing the unfortunately forlorn look to disappear immediately from the mothers face, to be replaced by a beam of gratitude. Now that did not take a lot for me to do. I didn't even buy the damn lollipops. However, (I truly hope) my small act of kindness brightened those people's day. People who are struggling, surviving. Will a singular lollipop buy them a bed for the night or a meal for the family? Of course not. Will they remember that time some loony in a hi-vis put a smile on their children's faces during one of the darkest times? Absolutely. I repeat, if you have something that you can give, then give it. The feeling you get for brightening someone's day is, in my opinion, unparalleled. We can all afford a couple quid. If you can't you can afford to tell that girl on the train that you love her hair. You can afford to tell that guy in front of you in queue that his shirt is amazing. You can afford to take a second, or a minute, or an hour out of your day to give it to someone that needs it. When you see a frown crack into a wide smile because you've taken the time to make it happen, for a complete stranger, you won't be able to go back. Jim Rohn once said: JIM ROHN: I'd love to hear ways in which you have been kind or generous to other. Slap it in the comments below for 5 bonus points to get you into heaven! Apply these 5 rules above, in addition to the 10 previous rules, to your travels. Be it at home or abroad, they will all drive you to reaching your true potential and becoming comfortably, not painfully, lonesome. All the best, The Lonesome Wanderer P.S.
Well done for making it to the end! Thank you for taking the time to read the above post, below you can find some quotes and 3 songs that I thought matched the theme of this post nicely. I look forward to hearing your thoughts in the comments below! Quotes:
Song Recommendations:
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AboutThe Lonesome Wanderer is a blog dedicated to all things solo travel, including the philosophical and introspective aspects involved with being on the road alone. More Posts
September 2022
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